What maketh a man? What maketh a nation?

Ketika sedang berjalan naik ke universiti untuk suatu mesyuarat, penulis menerima panggilan daripada ayahnya. Panggilan dibuat lebih kurang jam 6 petang waktu tempatan, bermakna baru sahaja pukul 2 tengahari di Malaysia.

Oleh sebab penulis sedang bergegas ke universiti, maka panggilan tersebut dipendekkan. Rupa-rupanya ayah tersayang hanya ingin berkongsi berita terkini yang mengejutkan rata-rata seluruh rakyat Malaysia. Berita yang mengatakan bahawa Tun Dr Mahathir telah keluar parti, dengan kata lainnya tidak lagi bersama dengan para pemimpin lain yang membawa nama UMNO atas pundak masing-masing.

Tiada petunjuk nyata dalam blog Che Det yang baru dimulakan kira-kira sebulan dua yang lalu. Tidak pula beliau menyebut tentang langkah drastiknya ini. Penulis memang tidak layak untuk berkata banyak, inikan pula mahu merangka hipotesis sendiri atas sebab mengapa tindakan itu diambil oleh Tun. Namun yang pasti, bilangan kunjungan ke blog tuan empunya diri dan juga anakandanya Marina tentu sedang melonjak naik memandangkan rakyat Malaysia sekarang sudah bijak memilih bahan bacaan. Apatah lagi apabila berhadapan dengan berita sesensasi ini.

Entahlah. Jikalau ingin dikupas satu persatu, alamatnya tidak terbacalah segala sumber berita yang ada. Pilihan wujud. Samada kita muak, atau ingin sahaja melepaskan perasaan ingin tahu kerana seperti yang ramai percaya, setiap cerita boleh bervariasi dua tiga macam walaupun yang sedang diperkata hanyalah cerita yang sama. There are always two sides to one story. Pelik tapi benar. Lagi-lagi cerita berkaitan politik. Jangan katakan two sides, three, four, five, a million juga mungkin. Patutlah ramai yang berpesan, harus berwaspada ketika bermain politik.

Berbalik kepada cerita pokok tadi. Sewaktu berjalan, penulis sempat memikirkan beberapa konotasi tidak seberapa terhadap perkara yang sedang berlaku. Sungguh dramatik senario politik Malaysia sekarang, hinggakan bekas pemimpin negara yang dianggap sangat hebat oleh sesetengah orang boleh menyuarakan ketidakpuashatian sampai tahap mengetepikan kesatuan parti.

Walau bagaimanapun, setalah difikirkan kembali. Tiada reformasi yang akan mengambil tempat jikalau tiada tindakan drastik diambil. Fikirkan, benar atau tidak? Sewaktu Tun dipecat dari parti pada tahun 1969, adakah terdetik di minda sesiapa bahawa orang yang disingkir itu bakal membawa negara ke tahap ini? Oleh sebab itu juga penulis tidaklah terkejut mana apabila Datuk Seri Anwar juga terus bergiat cergas dalam arena politik walaupun satu ketika dulu pernah dipecat dan dimalukan. Siapa tahu...? Tidaklah penulis ingin mencadangkan apa-apa di sini. Namun yang tentunya, dunia ini penuh ketidakpastian.

Bulan Mac lalu menyaksikan Barisan Nasional kalah teruk (ya BN tetap lebih berkuasa di parlimen, namun istilah kalah digunakan kerana BN bukan sahaja tidak merampas kembali negeri Kelantan, bahkan banyak pula negeri yang jatuh ke tangan pembangkang). Pada mulanya ramai yang bingung tentang masa depan negara. Tetapi lihat sahaja perubahan-perubahan yang walaupun kecil, dapat memberikan jaminan bahawa tiada sesiapa yang boleh kekal di atas tanpa melihat kembali ke bawah. Bukannya penulis bangga dengan kekalahan BN, namun peluang yang selama ini diberikan rakyat kurang dihargai.

Sejujurnya, penulis pada hari ini masih lagi condong ke arah BN. Seperti yang dikatakan dalam entri-entri blog lepas, penulis masih boleh mempertimbang sebab musabab dan membuka mata melihat yang mana wajar, yang mana tidak. Ya, usia yang muda, pengetahuan yang terhad dan mungkin juga, pertimbangan yang kurang relevan berbanding anda, anda dan anda. Tetapi buat masa sekarang, perkara yang ingin disampaikan adalah betapa tidak tentunya masa hadapan yang bakal melintasi hidup kita semua tanpa apa-apa tangguhan sekalipun.

Sesungguhnya Allah sahaja yang Maha Mengetahui. Lihat sahaja betapa kerdilnya diri ini dan betapa terhadnya pengetahuan yang ada. Wallahualam.


Teringah arwah nenek saudara, seorang guru yang juga ahli parti UMNO sepanjang hayat...

What Others Think

From the Citizen Blogger section of the Star online, these two captured my attention:


And we say good riddance

Posted by: kindsir

No matter what one thinks of the Mahathir administration, when one thinks very carefully, one cannot help but realize that all Malaysia's problems today were started during his time as Prime Minister. And he cannot take much credit for the successes. And so be gone, and leave Umno in peace.

and

Happy days are here again

Posted by: novice101

Tunku and Tun Hussien left the UMNO mahathir created, because they had total disdain for what mahathir was doing. mahathir is now leaving the party he has created himself, because he could not get his way.

He hopes others will follow his example. It would be good to see how much of a support he has in UMNO. AAB now has the opportunity to put mahathir to rest for good, at least in UMNO.

mahathir’s arrogance knows no bound. This arrogance is a result of his bloated self-confidence in himself. He has convinced himself that he can do no wrong and his logic supasses all others’.

The logic and confidence which are built with no moral and spiritual foundation are now tumbling down. Malaysia is on the path of recovery from 2 decades of decadence. There is hope for Malaysia yet. Just imagine what people’s unity can do!

Yes. What the unity of people can do. Let's get started, shall we?

My cat demam

Sunday, Sunday!

Have I ever mentioned how I dislike Sunday evenings? Mainly because it gets really quiet as people would be in their rooms studying, or friends won't really want to go out since it's time to do work that is due on Monday. Oops kantoi kerja last minute. Bukan friends actually, faham-faham je lah siapa. Heee.

Perhaps because when I was little, Sunday evenings would be filled with trips to and fro either Taiping or Muar. Okay, not every Sunday lah. My sisters weren't that dependent on us to go visit them or to take them home from their boarding schools. Still...my parents and I would go back to a quieter house and as a little girl, that would sadden me. Huu. Especially if I still had lots of homework to do.

I always have to have things to look forward to. Looking forward to exciting things (or even not so exciting like the exams) makes me a happy person. Una persona felice.

So today, I woke up to a neat room (neat by my definition, maybe not yours), decided to cook brunch and make a cup of good nescafe. Took a shower and here I am. Nasi goreng di depan. Dengar Broery's Kereta Senja. Alamak now it's Mimpi Sedih. Okay depressed. Tambah nasi.

Untrue. Tak depressed pun memang makan banyak. Lots to do today. Because lots are due tomorrow.

By the way yesterday I spoke to my sister and mother. Kucing saya demam =( Get well fat, eh chubby honey. Kakak loves you.

Poetic

I like this photo. If only I had my own poem to go with it...

Feeling (a bit) sentimental (but sans a relevant poem of my own), let's recall Pak Lah's famous poem entitled Ku Cari Damai Abadi.

Aku cari bukan harta bertimbun-timbun,
Untuk hidup kaya,
Aku cari bukan wang berjuta-juta,
Untuk hidup bergaya,
Aku cari bukan kawan-kawan,
Untuk hidup sekadar berfoya-foya,
Aku cari mana dia al-Ghazali,
Aku cari mana dia al-Shafie,
Kita bongkar rahsia kitab suci,
Cari pedoman,
Kita bongkar rahsia sunnah nabi,
Cari panduan,
Aku hidup kerana Dia Rabbi,
Dialah teman,
Dialah wali,
Dia mencukupi,
Aku hidup bererti,
Menikmati damai abadi.

-Abdullah Ahmad Badawi, 2004

Photo snapped after a game of frisbee. Hence the sports watch. Anyway back to our PM, I'd be thankful to be half as expressive and eloquent.

Of Whining and Complaining

I used to whine a lot when I was little. Up till now I can recall how my sisters grumbled of Nani yang suka merengek, or at least that was the gist of their complaints to mommy.

There were also events when they would compare me to this particular family friend's youngest son, who at that time would never cry out loud (in that department, very unlike me). He would instead, just go to one corner and sit quietly. Only if others went and saw, would they notice his teary eyes.

I could not help but felt a pang of jealousy. Masa tu mana boleh adik orang lain lagi cute, or lagi pandai or lagi anything for that matter. So from then on every time I began to scream, I'd suddenly remember and would just cry as quietly as possible.

My attempt was successful enough until recently. Until recently I would just try to make sense of everything and see if the other side of the story offers relief. Hence all this while there was never really a reason for me to grump. I believe in harmony. I wish to not have resentment in me. Hehe well at least, major resentments. Seldom was and am I envious. I live quite comfortably.

Yet for the past few months, I often find myself on the edge of saying things out loud, things which aren't so nice. They aren't extreme, but I'd rather not begin contaminate my principles. It's just that, what would you do if you refuse to be all whiny and loud when you're angry, but it's some external element that's provoking. After quite some time, you know that's betul-betul ujian.

Since I'm aware that others have even bigger and more severe problems, I shall just keep being patient. InsyaAllah. After all, there are always numbers you can text, contacts you chat with and people you can't wait to hear from.

Kan? ;-)

Oh, as of the last time we met, the boy I spoke of tu, he's become very handsome. Hehe just in case you're wondering.

Life Is Just Too Sweet

I really don't mean to show off. Neither do I want to tell the world that I'm almost obsessed with Desperates Housewives in this post. But it's something I find very sweet and meaningful, the scene when Bree told the ladies of her secret. Leading to all four confronting Edie for her inconsiderate behaviour.

Thus far Alhamdulillah I have seen the love among girlfriends and we're all bound to see and feel more.

One of my true charms

I can be pretty forgettable.

Jazzing Up A Little

In me somewhere is a jazz aficionado. I find myself listening to a lot of Atilia lately. This singer-songwriter has such a soothing, not-too-much voice and at the same time you can also hear consistent strength throughout all her songs.

Although in Malaysia we might view jazz singers as having a rather similar style, if you look and listen carefully they're different and their renditions sure are unique. Take Sheila Majid for instance, I have loved her music since a long long time ago. Her songs are simply classics. Even when she sings P Ramlee evergreens they sound catchy and nice, though I must admit I don't favour the rap in them.

To me, the spontaneity in jazz reflects colours. Talking about colours, I hereby confess my liking for wedding photographers' websites. No, not that I secretly plan what my wedding would look like. In fact I don't plan on settling down early. Instead, I adore the vibrance captured in weddings. The laughter, the spontaneity and of course the pretty outfits and adornments. Even more attractive is the 'harmony' you see going on in those photos. Well sure, you don't know see or hear any complaints, screaming, conflicts or dramas which might occur but I guess that's the whole point. You only capture good scenes to keep for years to come. Nothing of the negative sort.

Plus, I love it when a wedding or any occasions for that matter, receive guests from all sorts of backgrounds. From different races, young or old, almost everyone would be smiling and sharing the joy. And that's really something they have in common.

Why concentrate so much on differences when we have no less number of similarities?

My Quiet Weekend

If there's one word I could choose to describe my weekend, it would certainly be 'serene'. No due dates, nothing urgent to be done for at least this week.

Last Friday ISC organized a bowling night out at the Lanes. It really was a good thing that more than expected turned up. Can't wait for the karaoke evening happening sometime in June. That's in winter, so rain is indeed expected. Tak payah conscious. Hehe.

Saturday I started my day pretty late. Just to live my life back home and to satisfy a craving, I actually prepared nasi lemak and daging merah. At home after our morning walks my mother would take me to a nasi lemak stall and I'd get my favourite ayam masak merah. That would go well with my hot cup of coffee or tea. Hmm, those high school years. Or else, I'd go home and then my dad would take over and take my sisters and I out for roti canai and teh/nescafe ais. Never have I believed in not eating to stay thin.

Speaking of weekends and my mother, yesterday I spoke to my mother and we managed to gossip a little. She was waiting for my sisters to prepare dinner. I wonder what it was like. Anyway I sent text messages to my aunts wishing them well on Mother's Day. Also to thank them for caring so much, as if they are our other 'mothers'. Coincidently my cousin just gave birth to a baby girl!

Both of them replied and I was so touched by their messages. Coincidently jugak Vivy, Nana and I were just talking about our families, especially our mothers earlier yesterday.

Back to Saturday's story, after brunch I did some writing and then off I went to a meeting at McKenzies. The best part must be the visit to Simply Paris after that. Instead of just picking up a cake for Ikmal's birthday dinner that night, Nana and I stayed on for a cup of coffee and a piece of cake each. The blackberry millefeuille and oriental coffee mouse were fabulous! We ended up going home only after 6pm.

Later that night about 14 of us gathered to have dinner together and to celebrate Ikmal's birthday. We then went on talking over coffee till late. The next day, after getting some work done Nana, Vivy and I went for a brisk walk but before we even reached Oriental Bay, it started to rain. So we resorted to having ice creams at Movenpick.









On our way home, at the iStation.

My Mother's Day Post

I composed and included this in the card I sent her:

Mia madre, ma mère, wo de ma ma...

Literally and scientifically, I wouldn't be here without you but in another way I wouldn't be the person I am today if it weren't for your guidance, teaching and hehe, nagging. Call me arrogant but I just (so far) cannot derive anything that I'm unhappy with or that I should worry about.

Perhaps it's because God's been showering us with the many good things or maybe, because you and abah have been forever protecting me from anything unwanted and uncalled for.

For that and for everything that you are, I bow to Allah, the prophets and then to you. I may not act that at home but do know that it's true.

Happy Mother's Day, mak. I love you!

J'aime ma mère de tout mon coeur!