Definitely an optimist

Made it in time for the staging of Natrah last Thursday night and decided to catch 2012 yesterday since I left the office earlier than expected.

Perhaps I should start setting lower expectations and stop being hopeful all the time. Things would usually turn out (or seem) better then.

Oh well, the same happened last weekend. Made a last minute call to just go to the new Actors Studio on Lot 10's rooftop and catch Gavin Yap's 45-minute play. I haven't been to that place since ages ago but really, their idea of a totally new landscape up there definitely works.

Spent time over two frappé with my sisters and little Rais this morning. So glad that I could always squeeze an hour or two everyday doing things I love most.

No, not that I spend the rest of my hours accomplishing things I hate. Haha you know what I mean =)

Realization

Have you ever felt excited, extremely excited but at the same time you know there is a budding fear in you?

It's like, you're thrilled yet you're very nervous about something. I know I have had this feeling many times before.

Only this time it's different.

Because you know your playground is no longer your comfy home, your school nor the hundreds of class presentation mahjong papers put together. Scribble all you want, goreng all you want.

This time and insyaAllah many more to come, it's going to be the world for real.

A little was overrated, but a lot was a little too complicated.

My sister will be giving birth to her first child anytime now.

It is true that life as an adult requires a lot more patience and an even stronger will. Jeez how did others do it? I know I’ll get through, just wondering how though.

Anyway before I forget, I shall thank my friends for their comments on my ‘Differences’ entry. I honestly did not think it was cool enough to capture your attention. You people are simply fantastic especially when it comes to spirit-lifting, are you not?

For those interested to know, last week was not one I would brag about. For some reason I was feeling considerably tired. I felt like there was not enough time for anything. Perhaps I overworked? No, sadly that’s not the case, in fact jauh panggang dari api! For starters I was late for my date(s) with friends, so that made me feel a bit unreliable already. Aside that, I don’t think I’ve been on top of things as much as I want to at work.

But oh well. I said to myself ‘this too shall pass’ while I got all geared up.

Besides, what’s one week of ‘wrong’ when I’ve had too many weeks of ‘right’, right?

=)

Good luck with your years to come, dear nephew (or niece, at this point you never know).

Just a quick one

Right. After doing some ‘growing-up’ these past few years, I can now sort of see why people can get suspicious (and furious) over talks on how public revenues are spent.

Not that I didn’t see the rationale before, it’s just that feeling, versus being a silent observer, oh well you know the difference.

On that note, it’s prominently unfair to be spending income generated by a hardworking bunch for/to, hmm how nicely should I put it: the advantage of a less hardworking lot, no?

Not that I’m suggesting anything here.

On the other hand, seriously, madam? They used to have beehives and such in the old days, but now the style has evolved! Helmet, basket, you name it. It’s ridiculous yet still very funny you guys! =D

You my lady, make us laugh and yes this is vague. Just laugh along if you want =)

Tata

Do you remember...

…how you used to feel when you were thirteen? Or if that’s way too long ago for some of you, say more or less ten years back?

I think I do. And despite missing out on party-crashing, school-skipping, teacher-hating and a million other things some would refer to as ‘high school fun’ (I must say I was considerably a nerd by the way...who unfortunately did NOT study much), I am still very fond of my memories during school days.

Looking at old photos would remind me of old friends.

But somehow listening to songs famous in those years (some examples include BSB’s Shape of My Heart in year 2000, Samantha Mumba’s Gotta Tell You & N’Sync’s Pop in 2001, Linkin Park’s various hits throughout years 2001-2003. May I repeat, EXAMPLES only. Not that I was into BSB okaaaaaay) would actually make me remember how I felt.

How I felt about myself and my accomplishments as of then. How I felt about old time crushes, about staying within my school compound normally for more than nine hours each day, about running here and there as there were upcoming school events to assist teachers with (see, undoubtedly a nerd but of course there were people more hardworking than I was, surely they deserved a lot of respect).

Yet most importantly, in spite of making mistakes here and there, like walking around the alma mater teary-eyed (I recall due to occasional stress, NOT putus cinta bla bla), lacking professionalism when I spoke to close friends about work (yes I admit but I’m glad we resolved it soon after) and many more ‘oh-silly-me’ blunders, there isn’t anything I would change about my life back then. That be compared to my post-high school years when I became less motivated, obviously I felt prouder of myself as a secondary school student. No offense to those I wrongly treated (I apologize), this is after all just a personal judgment on my behavior and how best I made use each minute of every day. Then and now.

Trust me, focus from the very beginning and you’ll find yourself advancing swiftly. In my case, that was probably the only thing that kept me afloat, chin up while facing the world.

Aaaah, old songs triggered this post! I was in fact in a middle of something!

Are you ready kids?

AYE AYE CAPTAIN...!

Haha okay. Writing only that in a comeback post would be annoying.

But annoying to...?
Blerh macam ada reader je.

Regardless I'm just going to do this for the sake of updating.

Hello, world! I'm being put in a totally different position now as compared to say, six months ago. Physically, mentally and of course! Emotionally. I'm sure doing fine at the moment. So hopefully that would last =)

Caught up with the girls recently. How me missing missing misshhhinngg life with them. Okay annoying konon pelat manja tapi broken English ERGH.

Eh no, I'm not bitter ye kawan-kawan. The above expression somehow shows as if I am. Tak, don't worry betul pinky promise tak. (Macam trying too hard pun ada jugak, oh man. Blogging sure needs practice!)

My point is, it's business as usual and I'm happy as always =)

See you soon!

Okay, so...

My previous job gave me so much calcium that I'm missing it already.

Anyway can someone tell me why is it so very difficult for my friends and I to get together for a simple dinner these days? =(

Oh wait no, don't tell me. I know the reason already. Maybe I'm just in denial.

But come on. We've already missed birthday celebrations it's getting ridiculous. Blerh, alright again no, it's not that crazy after all. Accept reality tolong, Haz? Crazy is when you don't sleep because you have work piling up like nobody's business.

Erm sounds mysteriously familiar.

Lol.

Upbeat

Eating kit-kat on a sunny Sunday afternoon and watching episodes of Privileged.
Liking many things and getting easily amused.
Not exactly chirpy, but very lighthearted.

Speak French with me won't you?
I wonder if it gets better than this.
=)

Still alive and kicking!

First of all I apologise profusely to those whose YM, Facebook and text messages I haven't replied.

I'm alive and still around. Just been busy catching up with things I didn't get to do before. Especially now that I have my mother to teach me her many skills like knitting and beading!

Aside from house chores, I'm so fond of playing with and 'taking care' of the cats (Oh my they are likely to disagree on this, given how I like to squeeze and carry them around). Anyway I've been practicing a bit of salsa and guess what, I finally get to reminisce some childhood memories and they include swimming!

Evidence that I'm alive and still good friends with Nana. Lol.

Taken at her brother's wedding recently.
Well that's all for now!

Toodles!

Differences

In NZ, when telling foreigners I was on a scholarship, it wouldn't be without a tinge of pride. Especially when they compliment the massive number of sponsorship given by Malaysian companies and our government.

But here back home, to say that I was on a scholarship wouldn't be without me feeling conscious and humbled, include also, a tinge of embarrassment. Especially during conversations with bright non-Malay youngsters.

I hope I'm not where I am merely because I'm Malay.